Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

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Taking a shower is practically a religion for me. Back when I lived stateside, I’m (now) ashamed to admit that I frequently took 30 minute hot showers just to wake myself up in the morning. After living with roommates, temperamental water heaters and showers where there’s just enough room to stand, but not enough to luxuriate, I’ve cut that time considerably.

Now, a problem I sometimes have to deal with is how to shower in one of these:

I’ve adapted to having to hold the nozzle with one hand (though I hate doing so), but I’ll be damned if I know how to successfully clean myself without getting water all over every surface in the bathroom, specifically all over the floor.

More annoying is that I’ve asked the natives how to do it (do you sit? squat? back yourself into a corner?) and all the responses I’ve gotten so far are along the lines of, “you know, you just do it.”

Well, no. I don’t know and I’m loath to be so inconvenienced on a daily basis.

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Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

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