Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

Cottage cheese quest over (for now)

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I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty sure the dairy I grew up with was the best in the country. It wasn’t just that they had these two awesome huge cows in front of their main distribution center, though that would put them in the running regardless. Their milk was by far the most delicious I’ve ever had and their cottage cheese was so good that when my brother drove home from New York City, he’d take back a big cooler-full of the stuff.

It’s probably been 16 years since I last had any of that cottage cheese and I’ve never stopped looking for some that’s nearly half as good.

In Spain I had zero luck. There’s a Catalan cheese that’s kind of similar called mató which is a curd cheese, but the flavor was all wrong. In Catalunya, it’s most commonly eaten as a dessert called mel i mató, where it’s drizzled with honey.

The other day I came across a product that actually advertised as cottage cheese, so I brought some home and was pleasantly surprised. The consistency was pretty good, and the flavor was pretty all right, though it got much better with a healthy sprinkling of paprika.

One of the odd things about this particular food item is how proudly it proclaims on the side that it’s “Made with BRITISH MILK.” Considering that Mad Cow Disease originated on their island, it’s not something I’d use as a selling point.

The second thing is clearly their logo, which is troubling beyond reason. It’s a cow with a rooster’s comb, a piggish snout and legs that defy logic. If the secret to pretty decent cottage cheese that I can get locally is thinking about the Frankenstein of an animal that it came from, that’s a concession I’m willing to make.


Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

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