Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

Shock and Awe

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In the buildup to the invasion of Iraq in 2003, the phrase “shock and awe” was used by the Bush administration to describe the monumental can of whoop ass that the US was going to open all over the Middle East.

Today, I use it to describe the feeling I had when fellow blogger anglophonism left me a comment saying she was giving me a Reader Appreciation Award.

Shocked. Flabbergasted. Incredulous. The famous Anglophonism, a Freshly Pressed blogger, chose me? Not possible. Unbelievable.

Awed. She was going to write something about me on her blog. Probably something flattering. Was I going to be able to handle the cyber compliment? She’s actually studying to be an expert in things I only pretend to know about (like making with the language and the writing and the talking of words). How the hell could she find anything I say amusing enough to recommend? And yet…

Of course, like Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben says, “With great honor, comes great lists that need to be completed,” and this honor is no exception. Here are the conditions:

  • Identify and show appreciation of the blogger who awarded you. — Have you been adequately thanked, anglophonism? If not, I will redouble my efforts!
  • You must add the award logo to your blog. — Thanks to dlaiden for explaining how.
  • Tell your readers 7 things about yourself. — See below.
  • You must nominate 5-10 of your favorite bloggers for this award. — See, um, further below.
  • Inform your nominees that you nominated them. — I will make it so.

Seven things about me

  1. Movies (to me, the apogee of storytelling) are what I’m really passionate about but everyone’s got an opinion about them. Not so the trials and tribulations of multilingualism, so here I am.
  2. Even though I know there are better books, movies and soundtracks, The Princess Bride, The Princess Bride and “The Princess Bride” (OST by Mark Knopfler!) are among my favorites.
  3. If I could get Coke Zero pumped into my body intravenously, it would save a lot of time.
  4. Sleeping is one of my hobbies which may sound lame until I tell you that I’m a lucid dreamer. Every night, there’s a multiplex in my head where I’m having awesome adventures on all the screens. Real life is kind of a let down.
  5. Baseball is a great game. It’s like The Odyssey — one hero (the batter) faces a series of challenges (crazy pitches, running the bases) against a host of (nine) adversaries before he can make his way home to his beloved (um, the bat boy?). It’s fun to play and to watch, a feat not matched by many sports. Go Red Sox!
  6. I don’t eat mollusks and don’t understand why any does. Consistency-wise they’re all gristly and a ton of effort must be put in to get the “edible” part out. Basically every other living thing on earth is easier to eat and tastes better.
  7. For almost a year of my life, I only ate hot dogs; breakfast, lunch and dinner.

If you like me, you’ll probably like these people

  1. Thefrancofly — Jessie makes beautiful watercolors to illustrate the stories of a Chicago girl married to a French guy, living la vida Vincennes.
  2. Breadispain — So, so funny. Another American girl with a French significant other, this time in Grenoble (which is not Paris). I also like to think that her blog name is a secret Princess Bride reference.
  3. Paris? Really??? — An American whose husband announced one day that the family was moving to Paris.
  4. IAmYourCanadianBoyfriend — As an American, I think all Canadians are suspect, but Jason Sweeney is an exception. I cruise over to his site when I need little pick me ups, like the little guy at right.
  5. Suzanne et Pierre à Paris — A (French) Canadian couple in Paris who write very informative, fun posts in English and French. It’s double le travail for them, but double le plaisir for you!
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Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

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