Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

Conversation with myself


Me: I’m gonna go buy some of that bread that I love.

Myself: What are you going to do with it?

Me: Eat it, obviously.

Myself: The whole thing?

Me: Well…if I don’t, it’ll go bad. Once you break into a roll it starts to get stale.

Myself: Uh-huh. What are you going to eat it with?

Me: Idaknow. Something easy like Nutella. Or cheese. Or jam. Eggs maybe.

Myself: Wow, all of those are incredibly healthy options. No butter?

Me: Oh! I do have butter, that sounds good. [pause] Wait. You’re being sarcastic, right?

Myself: Who? Me? Nah.

Me: Sometimes, I really hate you.

Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

4 thoughts on “Conversation with myself

  1. French bread and Nutella, hmm!

    • You may be jealous, but think of how much easier it is to maintain a normal weight when you’re not around this bread every day. On the flipside, there’s excellent muesli in la Suisse.

  2. I just read your post and I said to myself: “I just love it!”. Your post. And the bread. Ah! The bread! I have developed a serious addiction since I moved to Paris 4 months ago. I am still looking for the help line number on the paper wrapper. There is one, isn’t it?

    • Maybe all us foreigners should be required to get a doctor’s prescription for bread. The natives don’t seem to have any trouble consuming as much as they want guilt- and fat-free. Me, not so much.

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