Me: I’m gonna go buy some of that bread that I love.
Myself: What are you going to do with it?
Me: Eat it, obviously.
Myself: The whole thing?
Me: Well…if I don’t, it’ll go bad. Once you break into a roll it starts to get stale.
Myself: Uh-huh. What are you going to eat it with?
Me: Idaknow. Something easy like Nutella. Or cheese. Or jam. Eggs maybe.
Myself: Wow, all of those are incredibly healthy options. No butter?
Me: Oh! I do have butter, that sounds good. [pause] Wait. You’re being sarcastic, right?
Myself: Who? Me? Nah.
Me: Sometimes, I really hate you.