Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

How the cookie crumbles

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Je vous écoute,” the lady behind the cookie counter said as she turned her back to me to wash her hands. I ordered two milk chocolate chips and two milk chocolate caramels. The place had a deal for four cookies and I’d just received less than awesome news from my doctor, so I figured some cookies would go great with the liter of milk I had chilling in the fridge at home.

Here is the part where I clearly made a mistake: I looked away from the cookies to dig in my bag for my wallet. My bag was particularly full since I’d managed to fit my x-rays in there, as well as TEN boxes of medication along with all the usual stuff. Hand on money, I fixed my attention back on her, paid, then headed home.

Once seated at my table with my milk and a clean tall glass, I opened the bag to learn that despite telling me she was listening to me, she clearly hadn’t been listening to me. Two white chocolate cookies and two caramels! No plain chocolates! She lied to me! She is a liar!

Oh, I ate them anyway, but they didn’t taste that good, possibly because after every bite I said, “God dammit, lady.” Day officially ruined.


Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

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