Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

Bombing in French


I still haven’t cracked the code on what is funny to an average French person. This actually bums me out a bit since I like to make other people laugh (intentionally).

So, what happened was there were these tomatoes at the grocery store and since I’m a sucker for fruit that’s grown in a weird way, I had to get them.

They're inherently amusing, non?

They’re inherently amusing, non?

At the checkout, the cashier was as charmed as I had been. “Look at this,” she said to me. “How often do you see something like this?” She called across the front of the store to her colleague. “When’s the last time you saw two tomatoes connected like this? Never, right?”

Her level of amusement had quickly surpassed mine, but she’s a friendly person and maybe these tomatoes had made her day, so I continued to play along. “They’re brothers,” I said. “Twins.” It was enough for me that I’d remembered how to say twins in French, but she went the way I’d been heading. “Siamoises!” she cried. “Or maybe they’re in love!” she continued, looking at me since it was my turn to say something.

And this is where things fell apart because I was thinking about how I was going to prepare the tomatoes when I got home which would necessitate separating them and I said, “They’re Romeo and Juliet; together, but destined to be apart. Because I’m going to cut them.”

And that was the end of fun times at the grocery store for the day.

Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

6 thoughts on “Bombing in French

  1. well you started out good but you became very scary with your closing remark….haha…. yes L’amour appeals to the french…… Aren’t they just like anyone else as far as humor goes? I don’t know! But I think she must have been a little scared of you after that remark…. just saying ha ha….

  2. Those tomatoes are so cute! I would have been very tickled by them too if I had been the cashier. As for French humor, these are the people who think Jerry Lewis is a genius. It’s hard to know what to think.

    • I do love the French but we do not generally share a sense of humor. Still, I should have/could have done better in this encounter. I’ve always been able to make cashiers smile and this time I totally screwed the pooch.

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