Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

It’s that time of year again

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Wool knit cap with shearling fleece lining, cashmere scarf, medium-weight insulated 3/4-length coat, wool-blend hooded sweater, t-shirt, wool skirt, medium-thick tights, leather shoes, fleece gloves.

People I passed on the street:

1. Shorts, sneakers, windbreaker. (Not exercising, just an old guy who didn’t give a merde.)

2. Linen blazer, kicky short skirt, ballet flats.

3. Short-sleeve shirt, corduroys, suede shoes.

4. Button-down shirt dress with a skinny belt, leather strap sandals.

5. Turtleneck shirt, jeans.

6. Silk dress, matador jacket, panty hose, heels.

Moral of the story

Spring came! We’re saved!

Actually blooming things near my house.

Actual blooming things near my house.

Well, except that we’re going to die

Looking out the window, I was so pleased by the change in weather that I decided to pull my bike out and go for a ride. Luckily, I listened to the radio just before heading out. After the forecast, they said that the government was advising people not to exercise outdoors or engage in any physical activity that may be taxing due to TOXIC AVENGER-like air pollution levels. They recommended that neither children nor the elderly should go outside. I decided that, while technically not a member of either demographic, I would hide indoors and not get cancer just from breathing, thankyouverymuch.

You can read more about this at the NYT, see pics on BuzzFeed, read about measures being taken on France Info, revel in The Guardian’s glee at how pissed the French are about those measures, or check out another story that has lots of links.

Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

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