Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

EXT. INNER COURTYARD PASSAGEWAY, PARIS — DAY

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Reference for the location scout.

Reference for the location scout.

GIRL heads down an outdoor corridor between one of the buildings in her complex and the covered tennis court next door. There are THREE PEOPLE at the far end: a NANNY, a LITTLE BOY and a LITTLE GIRL. They are speaking in English. GIRL can’t help but listen to their conversation as she approaches them.

LITTLE BOY

It is here. He said it is here.

NANNY

I don’t know what to tell you. He’s not here and we don’t even know where he lives, so we can’t go looking.

LITTLE BOY

But he is here! He said!

NANNY

If you had told me before, I would have gotten his mom’s phone number but I don’t even know who he is.

The LITTLE GIRL is in her own world, slowly spinning in circles, making the extra length on the straps of her backpack flit around her.

LITTLE BOY
(determined)

He is here. It is here.

GIRL is within speaking distance and addresses the group in English.

GIRL

Can I help you guys?

NANNY
(relieved)

Yes! We’re looking for his friend, but he’s not here. We were supposed to meet him half an hour ago so he probably went home.

GIRL
(to LITTLE BOY)

If you know your friend’s name, we can look for it in the directory.

LITTLE BOY

He is called Ludo.

GIRL
(smiles)

What about his other name? Does he have a second name?

LITTLE BOY

I only know it in French!

GIRL
(smiles even wider)

I bet we can find it, even if it’s in French. What is it?

LITTLE BOY gives her a last name and GIRL scrolls through the resident directory located on the entry keypad. SHE finds the name and buzzes. SOMEONE picks up and LITTLE BOY starts yelling happily,

LITTLE BOY

Ludo ! Ludo ! C’est moi !

The door BUZZES and NANNY, LITTLE BOY and LITTLE GIRL enter the building. GIRL continues on her initial trajectory.

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Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

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