Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

Kitchen Nightmares


I loved you most of all.

Coke Zero means I don't need you.

Coke Zero means I don’t need you.

Red is my least favorite color. That’s a lie. I don’t dislike red, I hate red. A lot. Just seeing it makes me angry, which is apparently the opposite of what it’s supposed to do. (Color theory info.) For many years, I wasn’t able to get away from red as it was the predominant color in both of my sustaining substances, Coke Classic and Marlboro reds.

Now, I can avoid it pretty well and generally manage to do so, but French interior designers seem to love red. They put it in all over the place, especially kitchens. Here are some screen shots from different listings, all featuring variations on the last thing I want to see ever, and certainly not every day.

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But maybe…

It could be that there are so many red kitchens because no one likes red. That’s why American barns were typically red: it was the cheapest paint color.


Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

6 thoughts on “Kitchen Nightmares

  1. But it is only paint…you could always repaint it in a different colour though I agree that it wouldn’t work if they have picked red cabinet doors!!! Most of those kitchens though are bigger than the one we have in our current apartment and better equipped. I probably still would go for one of them if I had to pick a new apartment even though red isn’t my favourite colour either. I find it a bit aggressive! (Suzanne).

    • If it were only paint, that might be fixable, but these are all linoleum, tiles or (the worst) glass panes that are RED-RED. Not orange-red, or light-red, but RED-RED. I find it super aggressive and genuinely the last thing I want to see first thing in the morning. It’s like waking up every day and having someone poke your eyeballs with a hot poker. I clearly have An Opinion about this, one that it seems French people don’t share.

  2. I love the color red, but I don’t think it’s a color I would like in a kitchen.

    • It’s just too much for a kitchen. You can have all the accents you want, but red is too bright (especially the shades I’ve seen here in Paris) for a room you spend lots of time in. I think almost any other color is better, though after seeing Monet’s yellow kitchen / dining room (which he painted himself!) at his home in Vernon when I was little, I’ve been partial to that color for a pleasant food space. Red is just so ARRRRRR and I like to be more ahhhhh when I’m eating.

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