Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

Today is my 9th birthday


On this day nine years ago, I emancipated myself from the US.

I don’t have science, so I can’t remember what it’s called, but one of Stephen Hawking’s theories about space-time is that every possible choice or action creates an alternate universe. I also don’t really have regrets, but I do sometimes think about who I’d be today if I’d made different choices when it came to the Big Decisions in my life — where I’d gone to college, where I’d moved to after college, what jobs I accepted.

Staying in the US isn’t an alternate life I dwell on as I was immensely unhappy when I was there and would have likely remained that way for a long time.

But I left so now I’m free! And I’m nine years old again! Nine was the end of my childhood for me, so I am happy to be back here, just on the cusp of becoming jaded and sarcastic. Yay for my birthday!

Next week

It’s Christmas in July! I don’t like Christmas (maybe I’ll tell you why) but when it’s removed from all its associated trappings (hellish music, screaming children, fake jollity, etc.) I don’t mind it so much. Plus, many learning opportunities ahead!


Author: le cul en rows

I'm an American Spaniard, living in France. I like to tell stories.

4 thoughts on “Today is my 9th birthday

  1. Happy Birthday to you!!! Always an interesting question about what one would be if one had made different choices. I have the same feeling…what would have been my life if we hadn’t move to Toronto, if I hadn’t learned English, etc. …Maybe we wouldn’t even be in Paris now. Always so intriguing. Enjoy your day! (Suzanne)

    • Thanks for the “birthday” wishes! It’s odd to think about all the possible versions of us in parallel universes…especially since I think I’m probably having the most fun of all of them!

  2. That means we both left America the same year. Do we get something special at 10?

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