Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

I <3

In short, I love everything you can find in the candy aisle(s) at Target around Halloween. (2005)

Candy aisle at Target. (Oct 2005, not me pic’d.)

This is a repository for all American things I miss that I can’t readily get over here. More importantly, it’s an easily accessible place where friends and family can find stuff to bring me when they come visit.


  • Little Debbie Nutty Bars
  • Peanut butter anything
  • York Peppermint Patties (the big ones)
  • Andes chocolate mints [don’t like these anymore]
  • Cinnamon flavor gum, especially IceBreakers
  • Whatchamacallit chocolate bar
  • Skor bar
  • Cinnamon breath mints
  • Hot Tamales
  • SweetTarts
  • Hostess chocolate cupcakes
  • Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (mini-size)


  • Hostess white powdered donuts
  • Blueberry yogurt-covered pretzels
  • Wheat Thins (Reduced Fat or original)
  • Dry roasted peanuts


  • cojack cheese
  • Boar’s Head roasted turkey (not smoked!)
  • Hebrew National All Beef hotdogs
  • Hormel pepperoni slices
  • Boar’s Head Sandwich Style pepperoni (stick)


  • Morningstar Buffalo Wings
  • Super Pretzel
  • Tostino’s Pepperoni Pizza Rolls


  • Cheerios (plain, yellow box)
  • Cap’n Crunch Berries (Oops! All Berries if possible)
  • Grape Nuts
  • Rice Chex
  • Annie’s Mac N Cheese
  • Cinnamon graham crackers
  • Sharpie Permanent Markers (black, fine point and fine tip)

Personal Care

  • Triple antibiotic ointment (generic Neosporin) [currently have enough]
  • Advil (round not oval) [currently have enough]
  • Burt’s Bees Lemon Cuticle Cream
  • Puff Plus with Aloe (must have aloe!)
  • Paper soap


  • DKNY tights, size small, control top — black, gray, purple
  • Calvin Klein sleep tank tops (without adjustable straps) — adult small, child’s XL

Books (paperback unless specified)

6 thoughts on “I <3

  1. Oh my god, this is so funny! I completely relate to that. We moved to Paris 9 months ago from Houston. I’ve been making a list of what I’ll get when we’re there next week. And Neosporin is on my list.

    • I first looked for a Neosporin replacement in Spain and the pharmacist was all, “How did you get a medication this powerful without a prescription?!” and I was totally baffled. I learned that Europeans don’t like (or aren’t allowed) to treat themselves which is basically in the Bill of Rights for Americans. Vive la Neosporin!

  2. I discovered Skor Bars when I moved to Canada – Skor Bars and Buttertarts. I could live here…

    • Sorry for the delayed response, but it took me a while to get over never having had a butter tart. I need to figure out a way to make this happen. (TIL Wikipedia has a whole “Canadian Cuisine” section — does it make me a jerk to say that I was really surprised there is enough stuff to warrant its own heading?)

      • You need to rectify the buttertart situation post haste. I had a look through the Canadian Cuisine section on Wiki; once I hit Mac’n’Cheese I suddenly found myself unable to continue…

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