Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures


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The end of posts as you know it

stand byIf you are seeing this page, this blog has run out of scheduled posts. Most likely, some kind of technical problem like my ISP’s apparent hatred of me is to blame and I’ll resume posting as usual as soon as I can get the damn router lights to all be green and stop their infernal blinking or not blinking, as the case may be.

In the meantime, click here for a random post and maybe read something you’ve not come across before. Alternately, just type a weird word into the search bar and something will probably come up since I like odd things. If you’re crazy lazy (no judgment, I’m wicked slothful), check out a Housekeeping post. They’re generally short, have lots of fun links and give you a good idea of other Internet time-suck-holes you can go down.

September 2014 — You’re seeing this message because I was right thinking that blogging was taking a lot of my time. I will be back as soon as I can figure out a way to cut other time-consuming nonsense.


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And we’re back!

The red light means I'm in HELL.

The red light means I’m in HELL.

It turns out that even the Internet takes August off in France. (Actually, a Norwegian pickpocket is to blame for my off-the-grid status, but the story’s almost too silly to be believed, so I won’t go into it now.)

My connection cut out on the 7th and didn’t return until this weekend, making this past month one of the least pleasant (and most annoying) of my life.

But now I’m back and will resume posting as usual. Come back to this space tomorrow for… something that’ll hopefully amuse you.

Also, because I really am playing every SNL sketch ever broadcast in my head at all times, I must link to the one about the dueling morning DJs (transcript) who yell “And we’re baaaaaaack!” louder and louder and in increasingly more annoying ways.


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Technical Problems

stand byIf you are seeing this message, it means that I am experiencing technical problems and that this blog has run out of scheduled posts. Most likely, my Internet connection has crapped out for reasons I can not explain.

Please return to this space in the future for more amusement.

[August 2013: since many people are on holiday during this time, I’m less concerned about updating than I normally would be.]


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Fox Force Five Punchline

A distinct disadvantage to subletting is that when something goes wrong, like say, your Internet and phone connection go down for a week (!!!), you are powerless to do anything. This isn’t the first time this has happened here, but it is the first time that the outage lasted longer than a day. “Problems on the line” was the alleged reason, but I’m blaming Seth MacFarlane because he’s just the worst.

This period of disconnection meant that I broke my almost year-long streak of posting five days a week which pisses me off. I’m going to back date the items that should have run on the days I was offline and still count them since they were ready to go, I just hadn’t scheduled them yet. This means that those posts will probably show up in the backlog of readers and RSS feeds so I’m linking to them here as well.

What you missed while I was in limbo:

Possibly the best Word Mystery yet: bleach!

What my brother has in common with John McClane!

Back to our regularly scheduled programs next week, including:

An introduction to French popular music.

How to talk about stupid vampire books without mentioning them by name.

An inside joke reveals a Word Mystery.

All that and much, much more!

Mrs. Mia Wallace knows the joke I'm talking about. (image marilloca @ DeviantArt)

Mrs. Mia Wallace knows the joke I’m talking about. (image: marilloca @ DeviantArt)