Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures


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Korean Cheetos

Cheetos are a thing I miss when I think about them. The cheesiness, the cheesy powder, the cheesed-out cheetah. There are no things I don’t like about classic, regular Cheetos. Except maybe that I can’t find them anywhere in Europe. (There are other flavors, but I want the original one.)

I came upon these at a Korean market I go to and couldn’t figure out what flavor they were until I asked the checkout girl. “They’re BBQ, see the BBQ?” she said, indicating the little grilled steak logo to the left of Chester (who’s kicking a football and not riding a skateboard — boo!).

“Sure, whatever,” I said and took them home.

The black arrow indicates the flavor.

The black arrow indicates the flavor.

VERDICT

They taste surprisingly like sweet BBQ. Like, creepily similar to actual BBQ. But they taste nothing like cheese. Final judgement: would eat again, but not an acceptable Cheetos substitute.

They look like this.

They look like this.


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Things I Learned in New York, Part 1

→ The kind of underwear I’ve been buying for years was discontinued. This meant a trip to Macy’s to find a new kind. “Intimate apparel,” a euphemism I loathe for how pervy it sounds, is located on one of the top floors, necessitating riding up the wooden escalators. I think I always forget these, the first of their kind in the world, exist so that I can be surprised every time I go up them. They’re worth a visit, if nothing else to make you take a moment and think, “Man, escalators used to be wooden and made horrible clacking sounds.”

→ Even though I might not need reminding, when taking the subway to Macy’s, I think of MIRACLE ON 34th STREET and get off at 34th (Herald Square).

Korea Way NYC→ Right by Macy’s: the best couple blocks in the whole of the continental US. 24-hour Korean food street. Every damn day of the year. Whenever you want it. It’s too upsetting if I think about it for long.

→ It is not advisable to eat four cheeseburgers in two weeks. This having been established, I will surely try for five next time.

→ There is no such thing as too much Korean though, as I ate it at least five times in the same time period. A favorite is MANDOO BAR  [site] because you can watch them make all the yummy mandoo [dumplings] in the window, it’s pretty fast and they serve super-cold drinks. Downside: their bathroom is not insulated.

→ Paragon Sports [site], a kind of snobby sporting goods store near Union Square, sells Wigwam brand wool socks. These are my favorite winter socks since they’re thick and warm and don’t fall down. Sadly, I’d already bought two pairs of wool socks from JCrew (they were on sale) and couldn’t justify getting more pairs, which is just as well since they wouldn’t have fit in my suitcase anyway. But now I know.

→ Cheerios that haven’t crossed oceans of time to find me taste noticeably fresher. Another point in the column of how unfair life is.

Unrelated, but everything about this is perfect (via)

NSA v NWA