Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures


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Great Words: seemly / unseemly

seemly /ˈsēmlē/ — conforming to accepted notions of propriety or good taste; decorous.

unseemly /ˌənˈsēmlē/ — (of behavior or actions) not proper or appropriate.

I like them both, though unseemly might be better because it just sounds so dirty. For some reason, when I came across it recently, my mind immediately jumped to the Sesame Street character Lefty, who is every kind of unseemly.

When I was a kid, it never occurred to me how inappropriate it was that a show for children featured a creepy guy in a trench coat, trying to trick beloved characters like Ernie into buy stolen merchandise. (That “8” totally fell off a truck.) I also never realized that for the rest of my life, whenever anyone talked about a plan, I’d think or say “riiiiiiiiiiiiight” and then muse for a few seconds about Fran and Stan without remembering exactly why, but I won’t forget anytime soon.

Sesame Street was a totally weird show back in the day. There were so many segments that I remember fondly that were clearly the ideas of people who were stoned out of their minds. I mean, “Milk” which was a favorite of mine, is literally several minutes of narration-free scenes depicting how milk travels from a cow into a glass in your kitchen. [Turns out that one of the people behind “Milk” recognizes how unconventional this short film was, even at the time.]

It’s a wonder more people who grew up on the show aren’t more messed up. I can safely say that I was only partially warped by it, though it’s probably the parts of me that were led astray that are the most interesting.

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The worst apartments in Paris!

My Parisian apartment hunting adventures continue! First, we had places to murder unsuspecting women. Then we had places where you could practice all those skills you learned watching “This Old House” and “New Yankee Workshop” (two shows I actually loved as a kid because I am big weirdo). Today we’ve got the worst apartments that somehow made it into my inbox.

See that thing in the corner? That's the WHOLE KITCHEN for this 1-Bedroom, asking 1250€

See that thing in the corner? That’s the WHOLE KITCHEN for this 1-Bedroom, asking 1250€ (!!!)

The combo bathtub-shower-sink-bidet. What a space-saver!

The combo bathtub-shower-sink-bidet. What a space-saver!

LOOK AWAY!! LOOK AWAY!!!

AH, MY EYES!! LOOK AWAY!! LOOK AWAY!!!

This, minus a shower and toilet space, is the ENTIRE apartment.

This is the ENTIRE apartment. Bathroom is communal (shudder).

This place looks nice until you realize that it's a studio and that little cupboard is the kitchen area. Without space for a fridge. Or burner. Or a toaster. Or, well, anything.

This place looks nice until you realize that it’s a studio and the little cupboard is the kitchen area. Without space for a fridge. Or a couple burners. Or a toaster. Or, well, anything.