Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures


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Christmas in July Loot

Deck the halls, we’re having a Christmas party!

In case it isn’t clear, most of the loot stuff I get is things I actually ordered myself and have sent to friends and family for them to bring me or ship me all at once so that I don’t have to pay individually for each item.

Beyond the fun of getting all things I know I want, another enjoyable element of loot is the surprise stuff. Best of all those are the edible surprises*. Here’s what I got in my recent haul:

 

Loot 2014 food

  • 3 Skor bars
  • 2 2-packs of Hostess chocolate cupcakes
  • 2 4-packs of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
  • 2 bags of mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
  • 1 box amped apple / lightning lemon Sour Nerds
  • 1 box Fierce Cinnamon Hot Tamales
  • 1 whopping pile of taco seasoning

Items which are left as of this writing

  • 1 whopping pile of taco seasoning minus one packet

I am not ashamed. Hell, the Nerds didn’t even last the trip home from the post office. The rest of the stuff didn’t even have a chance.

 

* Food is the best gift. You don’t have to keep it. If you don’t like it you can give it away. Sometimes it’s delicious. No one’s offended if they come by your house years later and don’t see it on display.


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600th post!!!

Seriously, people. This is getting ridiculous. I’m totally embarrassed by this number.

 

But not so embarrassed that I won’t peanut-butter-jelly-time all day.

peanut butter jelly time


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500th post!!!

I never thought I’d get this far. 500 posts. Freshly Pressed. Almost 20,000 page views. Over 1,000 comments. My post on bachelor cheese was linked on Reddit! What a year.

All of these impressive stats mean that it’s also the perfect time to announce that I’m taking a break for the holidays. Readership is usually down around Christmas / New Year’s and if I wanted to tell stories into a void, I’d just talk to myself (which I do anyway but which requires way less typing).

If I were a better American, I’d post again on January 2. If I were a better Spaniard, I wouldn’t post until well after January 7th. Since I’m just me, the ass between both worlds, I’m splitting the difference and will begin the new year with new things on Monday January 6.

In the meantime, here are some of my favorite posts that you might have missed or would like to revisit. (If you’re a regular reader, perhaps you’d care to nominate a favorite and I’ll link to it too.)

→ Word Mystery: bleach. This one got lost during one of my no-Internet time periods, but I like it.

→ How rabbits and slugs tried to take over my life in 2013.

→ My sister likes yogurt (or whatever the hell it’s called).

→ Read scenes from my in-progress Spanish screenplay about how horrible Spanish people are.

→ The time I mentioned “Bananas in Pyjamas” gets lots of hits, as do many other entries in the Great Word series.

And if you’re feeling festive, here are some holiday thoughts from the Way Back Machine. Remember to keep your holidays shitty!

→ My favorite scatological Catalan holiday tradition.

→ Tonto, Tarzan and Frankenstein wish you a happy holiday season.

Finally, since I started doing this as a joke, here’s my official happy dance. (Click to hear the song, though you really don’t want to hear the song.)

peanut butter jelly time