Le cul entre les deux chaises

An American Spaniard in France or: How I Learned to Make an Ass of Myself in Three Cultures

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Why German Will Be My Next Language

Thinking about how great THE GOONIES is motivated me to actually dig my copy out of a box. (That most of my stuff is still in boxes is super depressing and I don’t want to get into it.) Before I was even able to sit down and rewatch it, I started laughing. My copy is a Region 2 DVD that I got in Spain my first year as an expat, so the printing is in many languages, including German.

Goonies never say die... except in German.

Goonies never say die… except in German.

German is hilarious in general, but the fact that their definite article “the” is “die” means that almost anytime I see something in German, I crack up. And amusing myself is the most important thing I do all day, so being able to speak German would mean endless chortling, snickering and guffawing.

The best “die” has to be this one though since the Muppets are all “Yaaaaaay!” and German’s all, “DIE!”

This movie was not as funny as it should have been.

This movie was not as funny as it should have been.

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Stupid Italian rabies

Chunk, Jake, Francis, (Francis’s toupee) and Mama Fratelli

How is it possible that I just now realized that the villains in THE GOONIES, the Fratellis, are “brothers” in Italian? I mean, I thought I knew just about everything about the best all-ages adventure tale that ever was. I even knew that the Scottish band The Fratellis took their name from the characters in the movie but I am just now putting together that the two brothers with mommy issues who scheme against each other and their simpler, slower sibling are called The Brothers? Rabies!!!

tonyhale hey brother

This is just unacceptable. If Buster Bluth had ever studied Roman irrigation systems or something even more useless, this epiphany would have happened a decade earlier.

Further Thinking: Is THE GOONIES Richard Donner’s best film? I crazylove SUPERMAN II and have an 80s kid’s fondness for LETHAL WEAPON, but GOONIES is perfect in every way and timeless, so I think it might be. Other opinions welcome.